Who's Line Is It Anyway

Holidays

Another holiday season is upon us. Yay. With malls packed, streets clogged, and people milling about in front of stores for hours on end, you'd have to be living in cave on Mt. Everest not to realize the time of year. I'm not a big fan of holidays, especially Christmas. It irritates me when I just want to go buy an umbrella and have to spend half an hour waiting for some dude with a million shopping carts trying to shove everything into his trunk. Or when I just want to take my mother to the Oakley store in Santana Row to buy her a pair of sunglasses and get stuck waiting for the mass migration of people across a tiny side street. Well, now that it's all over, I'm going to avoid any kind of "watering hole" for the rest of the season. But I suppose this kind of mass congregation happens a lot. I'm sure it's the same for the animals who have to battle it out for a decomposing impala in sub-Saharan Africa. Lovely thought. Anyway, I have to figure out a place for dinner that doesn't involve headbutting someone to get a table.

Pale Blue Dot

"Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

Carl Sagan

supersized buildings

I was watching the Discovery Channel on Cleopatra or something relating to Egypt and it came across the giant light house at Alexandria. It was supposed to be 380-490 feet tall, a feat of engineering, and a sign of wealth and power. We may consider this ancient, but people are still trying to build large structures and buildings today. I mean look at the Petronas Towers in Malaysia, the Taipei 101, or the Sears Tower. All these buildings are a testament to the engineering power and financial wealth and political power these countries have. But this is something that can be traced thousands of years back in time. That's what the pyramids of Egypt are, the Mayan pyramids at Chichen Itza, or Tenochitlan, or the large mounds of Cahokia and throughout North America. We've been building to best each other, to display the magnificance of our society. I just think it's interesting (and I chuckle) to see that this tradition of building increasingly larger and taller structures continues today.

moments of time II

I think I've had many of these moments to realize that I've avoided dealing with certain issues for a long time. Instead of doing so I simply pretended everything was fine and ran away from it. And even though there are these moments when time slows down, it only does so for a millisecond and there really is no time to just stop and deal with it. Life doesn't stop for us to have our meltdown and fix it too.

after my dreaming

Had one of those weird dreams last night, the ones that...happen because there's something on your mind. That's when you know your subconscious is trying to work something out. Well, I saw the end of my problem in my dream. It wasn't pretty. I'm still hesitating; I've been hesitating.

moments of time

there are those moments, the ones where things seem to surrealistically suspend around us and we capture a glimpse of time being stopped. it's in those moments when the weight of certain events, pressing issues, burdens, expectations, or whatever hit the hardest. the question is, when that moment passes and everything resumes in overdrive, do we dive headlong into whatever it is that's happening and ignore those pressing matters? Or do we stop and face those issues (or at least pen it into our Day Runner)?

harried but happy

Wow, so in one week I found a new apartment, signed the paperwork, and moved in. Oh did I mention that I also got an exam date for a job I applied to? Things always seem to happen in bursts, which is what happened here. Well, I'm all moved into my room now. The kitchen is pretty much complete and the living room is just missing a TV and a sofa (which we bought last night so really on the TV.) I love having my own room although it's taking a little getting used to. It's funny because I've had to think about furniture and room set up so much that I was reminded of that scene in Fight Club when Edward Norton walks through his apartment that looks like it came out of a catalogue. It hit me especially when I went to IKEA yesterday. I had to laugh a little thinking of the glass dishes with tiny bubbles and imperfections, proof that they were made by the honest, hardworking people of...wherever. Anyway, all this business with moving hasn't afforded any time (or money) to go try new restaurants. However, I did buy a bottle of Fetzer Cabrenet Sauvignon the other day to try. It's not as good as the ones I've had (the La Massa) but it's a decent everyday table wine. Dark red in appearance, medium bodied, simple and not overly complicated. It's light on the tongue, crisp and dry. Well that's all the time I've had to be adventurous lately. Hopefully more to come.

odds and ends

Time now for a quick post... So I threw my back out today in badminton. Yes, it is that rigorous, especially when you don't rotate or lunge properly to hit the birdie. Oh well, I suppose these things happen when one gets old. Haha. I've been spending more time with some of the sisters. It's really nice to just chat and get to know them. I'm really glad I'm not being a hermit in my room. I'm reminded of some lyrics that go, "There is life outside your apartment...but you've gotta open the door." There are many more interesting and fun things to do, like dinner Monday night for example. I'm excited for another restaurant review. Until then...

Cheers!

For now...

Only for now...
...disappointment
...discomfort
...incompetent drivers
...cramped living quarters
...heartache
...a dull and boring job
...noisy neighbours
...annoying fruit flies
...hot weather
...limits
...unfulfilled dreams
...boredom
...being single
...uncertainty

"Except for death and paying taxes, everything in life is only for now."

new camera, old hobby

Yes, that's right, I finally bought a new camera. It's one of those snazzy digital SLRs that I've been ogling at for ages, y'know the kind that puts a dent in one's bank account. Okay so it wasn't that expensive so I didn't feel too bad about getting it. I think it was more of a comfort buy since being in San Jose for a week tends to wear me out. I needed some sort of reward. So I'm totally stoked about getting it in the mail and then taking it out to play at the Getty Center sometime next week. Woot! As for the old hobby, I'm getting more into photography, obviously since I bought a new camera. It's very relaxing and since I can't draw, it's the only art I can really do. Anyway, I have work to do so this will have to continue later...

conversation

I had a wonderful dinner and conversation with a friend last night. I've missed being stimulated intellectually by another person. I don't know why, maybe I was too focused on studying when I was in school, but I hadn't let my thoughts run like that for years. I've always kept it to myself or it was just difficult to have that kind of conversation where you just talk about anything and everything with maturity and with a view to understand and be educated. It's not like shallow gossip that we are all guilty of or talk for the sake of talk because we can't stand silences. It's almost like a scientific inquiry into the underlying constructs of everyday occurrences.; the cause and effect that certain social phenomena have on our lives. I think I'm going off on a tangent. But anyway, it was so nice to be able to voice opinions and hear opinions that may or may not contradict my own. The point is, it's important to have these kind of discussions in order to broaden ourselves and not be limited by our ignorance. There is a wealth of knowledge; our brains are meant to be used! Why not have this kind of discourse. It's also a sort of self discovery. You find things about yourself and your views of the world, society, humanity, in other words what is core to your being. It forces you to be honest with the person you're speaking to and with yourself. At certain points during our conversation last night, I realized I was speaking from a view that reflected my personal experiences, beliefs, and values. At some point I realized that I tried to supress these beliefs and the thoughts associated with them, but it's pointless to try to ignore them. It was liberating to talk about them and not be judged. And for myself, it allowed an avenue of understanding why I have the beliefs that I do, and being open to correction, open to other ideas and thoughts. In all, I was extremely delighted with how the night went and I definitely can't wait until the next time we meet.

Hmm, it's been a while. This blog is feeling a bit neglected. I think a lot of things are feeling a bit neglected, like my desk, it's getting a bit...crowded. A mountain of applications and paperwork. More stuff to put off. Well, I'm definitely glad to be heading back to LA, after a crazy weekend in San Jose. I hate this place. But my dog was too cute! He's always too cute!
Is he not the cutest thing ever!!! *ahem*

Anyway, had dinner with Dude yesterday at Chili's. I've had this craving for good beef, a good steak. I still have that craving. Just like I still want a good hot dog. Apparently, Chicago hot dogs are amazing. We'll have to see about that after I go to Pink's, and then Chicago. Maybe I'll look for a job over there. Then I can have hot dogs whenever I want. Haha. Isn't that something, moving to a city just for good food. Well I guess it's not that strange. I suppose I should move on from the subject of food lest I make myself hungry again. Perhaps I will go eat my leftovers...

happiness is being alone every now and then...

I've discovered that after coming back from China (yes! I'm back!), I just want to be alone. Maybe I've felt this the whole summer, but definitely more so now. I suppose it's a reaction to being with my mother and my cousin, who annoys me greatly, for the last 3 weeks. I suppose it's also a reaction to all the changes going on in my life, as if everything is seemingly being uprooted and tossed about. I think I just need to get my head cleared and straighten myself out, turn to the Lord, confess, and go on. *sigh* I think I'm just having a hard time in terms of not having a plan for my future. I've always known what I was going to do, but for the first time, my life is unscripted. I know this is the Lord's dealing with my "plan for the future" self. I must turn to the Lord and follow Him. I'm reminded of the message during the summer training where the brother shared on each one having a path that has been ordained by the Lord. We must be faithful to take that path and follow the Lamb to the end. I haven't quite come to that experience, far from it in fact. But I think I'm slowly learning to resign myself into the Lord's hands.

olympic madness

i've decided that the olympics in beijing is more irritating than it is exciting. everything is so much more difficult like getting through the security checks on the subway. i mean, do you realize how many thousands of people pass through the subway systems everyday??? it's crazy. the same goes for traveling outside beijing. since they're limiting the number of foreigners into the city (i.e. people from outside beijing) it's hard for people like us who have foreign passports to get back into the city once we leave. it's horrid! ok maybe i'm just irked at all this olympics stuff. there are good aspects like the reduction in traffic and the cleaning up of the side streets. the only thing is, it's probably all going to go back to the way it was before the olympics. i'm probably jaded but i have a feeling that this is all just a show for the rest of the world.

anywho, enough of that rant. i have exactly 2 weeks until i come back to the US. YAY!! that means i have less than a month until i go back to los angeles! even more YAY! being in beijing is really an exercise. it's hard being away from the saints, i realize. definitely. it's even harder being with my mother all the time. i think one thing that's saved me this time in china is praying for the saints. it doesn't help me any to keep praying for my own situation, in fact it makes me feel worse. but once i start praying for the other members, i feel so much more released. it's good, so Lord keep me praying.

i have this sinking feeling in my heart. i've only been here for 5 days?? impossible it seems. i wish the olympics would just start already. this is really frustrating. there's nothing for me to do here it seems but go wandering around in the city. it's no different from wandering around in LA or san francisco. sigh..

this is crazy. i need to come back to the US. i need to be back in LA.

beginning

the beginning of my "vacation" has started. i'm sitting at SFO waiting for my flight to board which won't happen for another 2 hours. bah so boring. i've decided waiting for flights is a very unnecessarily long and tedious part of traveling. i'm sure many would agree.

falling slowly

besides listening to the song on repeat, i feel like i'm falling. or maybe i've already fallen.

argh...summer needs to end. now. sigh. i wish i were back in LA...

dot dot dot

hmm...haven't used this thing in a long time. maybe time for an update.

i'm bored.

ok, to elaborate, i'm in san jose with 2 days left until i go to china. so i have nothing to do but to wait. well i've been looking online for digital slr's since i'm considering upgrading to something with more manual control. i've pretty much decided on the canon rebel xt. it's pretty cheap for a dSLR and i think it'll do nicely for my level of use. hehe i'll have too much fun with it when it comes. well if i get it. or rather, when i get it. too bad i can't have it for the olympics this august since i'm going to be there anyway. i'm just glad this trip isn't going to be one of those month and a half long ordeals through the jungles of some remote mountain village resulting in a busted knee. no more of that.

speaking of cameras and photography, half moon bay has some very nice spots on the pier for photo taking even by amateurs such as myself. i think i really like that damp, cool, gray coastal weather. it was 62 degrees the day i went. and this is what i came back with:

it was too drab in colour, too washed out by the grayness of the day so i decided a b&w would be more appropriate. i think i was right. anyway, hopefully i'll get the canon slr and have more fun with lighting and exposure and such.